No one seems in much doubt that the restaurant industry in the UK is in deep peril. A rational mind would cite increasing food costs, the difficulty of hiring, crippling rents and insane business rates. Some might complain of issues at a legislative level, such as the minimum wage, some of broader socio-economic trends — perhaps widespread recession or just regional customer price sensitivity. But if you listen to the chatter on social media among chefs and restaurateurs, the real problem, the existential threat to everything we hold dear in the hospitality industry, is the “no-show”.

What is a no-show? Put simply, it’s when a customer books a table at a restaurant and doesn’t turn up. It’s not “a cancellation” — that’s when the punter phones up, makes an apology and says they won’t be coming. No, a no-show is when the table is laid, the floor staff are standing to attention, the kitchen has factored in the food costs of each of those seats and prepped for a full service, the barman has iced down extra house white, the kitchen porter is planning on ending his shift at 2am instead of 1.30 and?.?.?.?well, nothing. The party of eight just fails to materialise.

They have, the ma?tre d’ will opine bitterly, probably gone for the all-you-can eat buffet at that hole down the road, where the chef spits in the soup. Or they got lashed in the pub, peaked too early and will end up with food poisoning from a kebab wagon. Hell, it doesn’t matter if they went down with Ebola or the person from HR finally lost it and stabbed them all, tonight on the floor of one particular restaurant, they are the eight most hated human beings on the face of the planet and no fate is too grisly for them.