At 10.30am one day last week I got a reminder on my phone saying that at 11am I had to join a conference call. I spent the next 30 minutes mildly dreading it, and then at 10.59 dialled the number, put in the six-digit pin, and gave my name, as instructed.

“You are the first person joining the call,” said an electronic voice. I then listened to the William Tell Overture until I heard a robotic “Simon X — has joined the call.” Two seconds later someone called Katie joined. I had no idea who either of them were, but said hello.

“What’s the weather like where you are?” Simon ventured. We proceeded to make the world’s most desultory small talk, interrupted by every new arrival, each one necessitating a fresh discussion about who was on and who wasn’t.