If you were to make a list of people with whom to share parenting tips, it seems likely that Russell Brand, the stand-up comedian, serial shagger, raconteur and former addict, would place fairly low. But I did feel a flicker of empathy while reading a recent interview in which the reformed reprobate described his aversion to children’s play dates. “There’s nothing playful about a play date,” he said. “It’s an unrestrained, unmanaged, dangerous experiment that places my precious, perfect little girl in the company of anonymous, unvetted potential arseholes.”

Although the term barely existed until about 15 years ago, the practice of scheduling play dates during which one’s children might be socialised with other children of their own age — supervised by one or sometimes two sets of responsible adults — is one of the least avoidable features of middle-class parenting.

Where once upon a time children were encouraged to knock about a football outside the house, or find their fun on a local building site, today’s parents are required to while away their weekends engaged in child-focused outings and exchanges which, despite being disguised as recreation, are actually designed to ensure one’s offspring’s vaulting social advancement.